Dating Service Or Marketing?

The other day after having a pretty good altercation with my spouse, I was on the phone with my marketing coach when my daughter came in and sat down to read the last of her summer reading books for school. I was talking about the kind of person I’d like to attract but my daughter didn’t know whom I was talking to. She thought I was talking to a dating service! I thought, wow, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? I mean really, that’s what we’re all trying to do is get clear on what kind of people we want to attract and who we’re attractive to.

John, Bobby and Teddy Kennedy’s grandfather on their mother’s side was a well-known womanizer in his day. He always picked the woman who was attracted to him. It’s a great system but maybe it doesn’t give you all the flexibility in the world. You’re limiting yourself to who’s already out there and in your circles. You are not going to attract the ones who aren’t there yet, those who aren’t in your circle, those who for one reason or another just aren’t in the room with you.

My paternal grandfather practically went from door to door in search of a woman, a mate. He was dogged and steadfast but not very exciting. He was the cold calling, mail out the flyers kind of guy. My maternal grandfather saw the woman he wanted to marry, asked a friend to borrow his house, invited my grandmother to a party there and wooed her. Some smoke and mirrors there, we’re all used to that. I don’t know if it was before or after they were married that she found out he wasn’t so wealthy as he showed her!

So what’s the best method? Or is there one? My grandfathers were looking for a mate, Honey-Fitz, the Kennedy grandfather, was looking for a mistress. That’s a big difference.

When we are casting our nets, working them as it were, are we looking for mates or mistresses? This is going to be a really important distinction and the awful truth is you probably want a little of both. The glory of a mistress with the steadiness of a mate. But when you’re taking the first cast, looking for leads to convert, you’ll want to cast as wide as you can. There might be a really good catch way out there. You might be way out there, and you’ll need to keep your steadiness for the long-haul cast. You don’t see too many casting from a boat. They have to know how to balance and they can convert the weight of their throw through their stability into the pitch. That takes time and effort. No body gets there on the first try.

Staying focused, knowing who you are and what you want. Knowing what appeals to you and what you are good at are the immediate necessities of the marketer. How you do it isn’t as important as your overall consistency. Consistency is the hallmark of the long distance marketer. Know your goals. Do something every day to support them. Don’t leave your best efforts to dangle in the “when I get to it” room.  Give them as much of your energy as you would a first date.

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