What do you really want?
If you don’t have a clear picture to answer the question “What do I really want?” you are not alone. We are bombarded with things to do, buy, play, and know. This is a complex time, this is always a complex time. There is nothing new – if you can take solace in that, or if you can’t. We are rarely not challenged by our lives.
Challenge leads to our meeting it (the challenge) or avoiding it. Our minds play a huge role because if you really tell yourself the truth, most stuff we spend time and money on doesn’t matter that much. Have you let something get by you – a game, a car, an attitude and then not missed it? When it comes to you over and over maybe that’s the time to give it a look. But most of us are pulled in the moment. We respond quickly. Isn’t that what our parents wanted? Quick responders. Isn’t that what we see in the movies? What we need in the Emergency Room – yes, there IS a time and a place for instant action. But most of us overplay our hands at “instant.”
Some questions to ponder; Do you put down your real goals in favor of what someone or something else wants? Is that what your “quickness” is about? Do you have enough time to take care of yourself or do you let that go? Do you have enough money to live the way you want or are you living someone else’s dream? Are you following your parents’ goals for you, living in a house they like, going to places they’ve been or want to go? Do you have enough love? Are you accepting what’s offered? Nothing wrong with that if you are pursuing your own goals. Do you have enough friends? Do you count all the people in your organizations as your friends but don’t have time (take time) to really connect with any one or three of them?
In my experience with my children, I find I want them to have certain experiences and not others. I don’t think I’m too unusual. I don’t want them to have any strife or struggle. No bad grades, unrequited love, bullying, or nasty falls. At the same time I pride myself on how I’ve handled occasions where challenges were met. I’d rather they didn’t express themselves with hair dye or piercings but I value my radical difference from my parents – and most of my peers even now.
This comes back to what we really want. Is there a way to know? Yes, of course there is, and it’s one of the areas in which we are most challenged. It’s focus. I should write “FOCUS.” It’s that big. That important. We do what we are focused on, we become what our focus brings us to. If we can say “birds of a feather flock together,” then you know how important it is to put yourself where you can be your best self. Where you can meet and exceed yourself, where you can start low and end up with loftier ideas and ideals. Are you more aware with whom your children hang out than you are for yourself? Do you challenge them and their attitudes to study, work, play. I doubt you think it’s cool when they hang out with friends who are driving aimlessly, drinking and drugging? Do you say, “sure, take the keys, go do nothing?”
Look in the mirror. What are you doing? What are you aware of? Where are you going?
Take a good look. Get your goals in sight. Write them down , talk about them to the loving supportive people around you. Be the winner you want your kids to hang with. Take the leap. One step at a time. One minute at a time. One turn at a time. Don’t get lost in the whole picture – be a GPS, take the turns to the next frame once you’ve set your ultimate goal.