Sometimes a closed door makes me feel far away from whatever is inside, even though I am only inches away. A word can do that, a look, a tone and a death can make me feel like I’ll never be connected again.
When Jill Bolte Taylor had her “Stroke of Insight” the world of connection opened up to me in a way I had missed out on in my own mind but felt always in my heart. When she saw her hands indistinguishable from a table from the phone I saw all the texts I had read over the years about vibration of atoms come into my heart and open. I have felt the presence of so many “invisible” things. Smoke trails of reality, essence of truth, light where nothing shines. The death on Friday of my sister-in-law, a mentor of Paula’s and a mentor in my professional world all reminded me that constellations of connection surround me. And thirty-one years ago this month my father died by his own hand, connecting me for my ever to the world of the unseen, of feeling and strength and vulnerability. I heard the shot in my head, standing in Concord, MA while he was on the Missouri River in St. Louis, its sound filled my brain and connected me forever to my heart.