Here I Am

How many of us can say that with no discomfort and no costume? It’s taken me a while. When I showed this work to someone he said, “that’s you isn’t it?” I was a little taken aback but it was easier to handle than the one who had said, “A little Botero, yes?” And smiled to himself.

It’s not that I don’t see it, I do, and years of mindfulness practice have left me the ability to be aware of my emotions even as I hear something disturbing.

And more years of practice have allowed me to see that I may be putting out something disturbing and when I do I’m likely to get a response I might feel uncomfortable with. Brene Brown‘s work on vulnerability has an enormous influence on my becoming real.
Growing up I was made to be ashamed of what I looked like and who I was. There was a push me – pull me between my parents; my mother was ashamed to have a TomBoy and my father loved to taunt her for any reason with anything he could. It was often me.
So it isn’t that much of a stretch to see why I might have chosen what I paint and what I see. I even think I chose them so I could get some hands on experience and build up courage.

One thought on “Here I Am

  1. Beautiful drawings and brave to be seen. I think as a human I want to be seen but at the same time I am afraid to show myself.

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