Comfortable With Uncertainty

Sitting on my lap, resting by something warm, prompting my putting food in her dish: these are certainties. And certainties are relative to experience and experience tells all the cats whom I have known, that I will feed them, comfort them and house them. Before they knew where I live who knows how they felt?
What does it take for you or me to feel certainty? I know from my experience that the more I know about myself, the more certain I am. The more I live with certainty and the less I live in fear. I feel like a cat. Good on my own. Better with you. Besides which mice and birds give me a belly ache.
Pema Chodron says, “Learning how to be kind to ourlselves is important. When we look into our own hearts and begin to discover what is confused, what is brilliant, what is bitter, what is sweet, it isn’t just ourselves we’re discovering. We’re discovering the universe.”
No one ever told me when I was little that the universe was anything but a huge distant unknowable thing – it made me dizzy to think of it. I would look and look at the stars, at the day or night sky and my mind would whirl. I looked under my bed, I looked in corners and in fields for the “dust” that was coming or going. I wanted to see it. I wanted to touch it and hold it. I wanted to see it move.
Then when I was older, spiritual teachers told me the universe was in me. Well that sure added to the confusion! The dust, the expansion, the movement was in me. Where? I began my search. And I can totally identify with the premise of a spiritual mystery book or two I read about where the protagonists were trying to weigh the soul. Well, silly or not, I’m with them on that one. Wouldn’t it be nicer to have a measurement, something on which to hang my dis-ease with complex thought. Spiritual insurance – you will know the Answer!
Back to my cat. They know. That’s what I like about them. Their very presence reassures me. They know their way around. I follow. And feed. And scoop. And whatever else.
But I never question. Not any more. I just ask my cat(s). Here’s Barb sharing with Pachi.

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